Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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