i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
