Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
