i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
