I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
