thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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