Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
