My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
