you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
