did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
