how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
