Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I love having hate sex.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize