I'm gonna have a badass scar
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
