Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well you can't waste a boner
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
