Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
