Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
