so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
