Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
