Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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