And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drunk is a universal language darling
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
