i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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