Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize
