well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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