I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
