was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
