yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize