dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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