Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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