Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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