I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
