you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize