you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize