these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
