I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
