get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize