And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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