You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pants are for mortals
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
