The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
