He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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