Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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