so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
