As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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