My first STD was from a foam party
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
