Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
