Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
