I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize