2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
