we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
