you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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