To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
