brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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