Yo dont text me then not text me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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