we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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