are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize