Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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