Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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