i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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