In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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