OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
