Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's blow job season.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
