the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I have fence marks all over my body
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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