Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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