i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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