My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
