I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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