I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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