Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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