i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
